Wrapping Up The Month
"George, George, please update your blog!"
And then I get one comment on the last post I make. Why, thanks for the support!
Sigh.
My conscience speaks to me...
Too much inclusion is like nuclear fusion: you take it all in and then you blow. It's a mental rush with a sentimental crush in between, but trust me, it just won't show. You probably think that you can handle it all, land on your fours and crawl then get up on your feet and arise from the smoke. But at the end of it all, you weren't worth the fall and they've left you to see that your life's a joke.
Exclusion sets in and they disappear. With fading images and songs to hear. The pressure's on you, there's too much to do so you palpitate and quiver with fear. The fear of not living to the standards they've set, the one's they've met and the ones that you'll let drift by like dust. Reform is a must... but reform can only come along with trust. Now that's something that you don't possess, your life's a mess and it's being put to the test. Recess...
You question every word they say, you're not okay and with the passing of time you get bored of The Fray; "Their lyrics are fake! False emotion!", you pretend like you've been led astray.
The megalomaniac in over his head, spoon-fed with shit, not one bit fit in the sense of love, as clean as a dove, the truth will surface, he deserves your spit.
Your rage. It's suppressed with the fact that you need to get back on track 'cause you're a stage where you can... Got a future to plan, so you leave the inner child and act like the man that you're not. With a lot on your mind you can't seem to find the time to patch the wars you've fought with yourself. And just like the books on your shelf, you'll leave them there for them to rot and die. Why? Why did you have to go screw things up when things were looking well? Your ego swells and just like that you've lost your friend in hell: the place you made when you laid your hands on the girl they thought you liked. Your drinks were spiked so you're forgiven but please just take the mic and speak the truth. Don't be the chauvinistic brute that the asshole seems to be. (That's the key!) Complete irony, "If things are fine for him, what about me?"
Slow down... before you burn to the ground, soon you'll be found and you'll go around the place. You gotta face the fact that you aren't part of their pact, you're just a competitor in this race. Innate disgrace. Drawing lines in timeless space... seeing things in shades of grey, a wannabe architect's typical day. Beg for closure in the month of May...
Don't even bother asking.
Artwork by Alex Grey (alexgrey.com)
15 comments:
Well, the good side of this whole thing is, that if you had held up the emotion anymore you would have exploded. Or did you?
ahem?
what about the talk we had yesterday?!
trust me. i know.
whatever you do, don't let yourself explode. i know now that nothing good comes out of it.
this is the time to finish what you started.
oh oh...also..
i hope i'm not the friend in hell. O.o
that would be very sad.
=')
It's all a metaphor. Atleast most of it is.. and no, you aren't the friend I'm refering to. No further questions.
I haven't exploded and I'm not going to either. I don't explode.. I've lost the capacity to do so. I can only really express myself through my writing so pardon me if it gave any impressions (or graphic visualizations) of me exploding.
Maybe I just time to sort this madness out.
Ive realised alot of things..and i wish i could have written that cause it captures alot of what im feeling too..lets explode together.
no, no, no.
what's all this about exploding?
NO.
this blog opens up on firefox and i see a new post. cool! i think.
and then i READ it.
Is there something i missed? Or did you just write this to get more comments?
no i didn't actually mean that, my friend, but still...
whoops now why did it just publish that comment three times?
well sorry for the lack of comments but i cant find anything to say really..
HOWEVER, i could just hear u rapping this in my head, while reading it =)
and since when have u been the exploding type??
i don't really know if there's an exploding 'type' ned.
sometimes it just happens.
No one's exploding. That could very well be the problem. I can't explode. It just builds up inside me and vents out through different ways. That sounds gross. Shaddap.
And no, I don't post for the comments.. but it is nice to see that people are actually reading the stuff you write and commenting on it, be it good or bad.
Oh, and Adi.. this is not just nonsensical drivel as you said.. It might be to you.. But this WAS my month.. Atleast most of it..
I very much NEED to explode.
Damn technicalities.
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