The Great Divide

This shit has made me lose my temper too many times. I’ve got to the stage where I can’t tolerate this nonsense anymore. The position I’ve been left in is just making me go fucking mental. My perception of reality; the thing I thought I once had some semblance of is now just slipping away in front of my eyes and I really can’t take it any longer.

It seems this blog is the only place I can vent my anger without affecting those around me. But what’s the point? No one sees what I’m actually going through. I’ve come to the stage where I can’t trust anyone. I’ll nod my head in acknowledgement and understanding but there is a part of me that doubts what everyone says.

What’s real? What’s fake? Who do I listen to and who do I believe?

I’m really going crazy…

The New Year hasn’t come yet and I’m trying to let out all my frustrations in order to keep to the resolution I promised. But what use is a promise to you when a promise to me is broken? What happens when I lose all my trust in what anyone has to say?

But I’m moving along I’ll have you know. This balancing act of the two worlds I love has all come crashing down and is beginning to swell with disaster. It’s not my fault and I’m not going to blame myself anymore.

The Lost Prophets had an album name that is perfectly apt for my present state:

The lonely position of neutral

That’s what it is. That’s what it always will be. All I can do is beg for salvation.