Swing Life Away

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world.

There's something about this post that makes me wonder why I'm sitting up at nearly 6 in the morning (that to, the day after I posted Exploding Brains), alone in the computer lab, without any aim in life whatsoever.

I wouldn't have walked from my comfy bed where I played a spread-eagle feast laid out for the blood-sucking hosts we cater to if there wasn't anything on mind. There is something on my mind. And it's me not knowing exactly what it is that is bothering me. It could be this. It could be that. Odd how it isn't either.

Wow. Story of my life, wouldn't you say? I threw it all away because of what? Hmm, there's no real answer is there, isn't it? Why am I asking myself rhetoric questions? Why did I just ask myself a rhetorical question about asking myself a rhetorical question?
Wait. *the sound of a flushing toilet drains the buzz*

My mind took a leak there. Fancy that.

Being random agian: I loved that look in her eye. It was something comfortable. It was a hiding place from the rest of the planet that has had too much exposure to the sun. Dazed. That's what we all are. But whatever... It was that look that meant everything for most part of that month or so. And it was that look that made me believe that I started out new and had a second chance at it all.
Yeah. Apparently not.
It takes a man to admit his mistake and actually have any semblance of regret. It took an idiot to admit it to the wrong person and bastardise everything else.
Timeless shit. It's universal. It's a repetition. It's a life-cycle that I can't escape. "It's tends more to one of those vicious cycles" he says. If that's what you want to call it, then sure. I tried being a bit optimistic about it but yeah, that's all cool... just burst that bubble.

Do I believe in chance?
Well, it depends. Do you mean a first chance or a second one? *stupid look on face*
No because really... I could possibly have a chance at both. Which technically brings three faces of chance into the limelight. You chance-lor, you.
It's a funny word if you think about it. And it definitely sounds funnier when you say it fast 10 times in a row. Do it when nobody's there though. You tend to look like an ape, something along the lines of a Sumatran Orangutan.
Coming back to it, Chance is quite the deceiver. From my experiences (and according to most of my friends, my 'experiences' are figments of my ever-increasing imagination) I can give you this. Chance makes you believe there is a chance. But it's actually all plotted out somewhere in your mind. Something like some spin-off of the Matrix. Like there's something else out there that's deciding what's what for you. Something like destiny. Destiny's a bitch. I hope you remember.
So then these 3 chances that I have... what sense do they make then. I guess I'll walk the road of logic and see how things pan, the road less traveled these days, the road not being Sarjapur Road but perhaps something more metaphorical. I'll go for it when it comes. Headstrong... that's what I need to be.

Taken back to the swing. The sound of silence. The stillness of it all. And then the heartache that lasted an infinity.

listening to Radiohead's Reckoner