The Benefits of the Male Species

Men have always had it easier.
A normal male will tell you that if he had the option of transsexual rebirth he would seriously decline. I say ‘normal’ because I’m referring to the guys that I’ve been around throughout my span of 17 years on Earth. If you’re gonna come up to me and ask, “But what about the cross-dressers?” I’ll save you the trouble by telling you that I don’t hang around cross-dressers and that I’ve never been introduced to one. And no, I’m not saying that a cross-dresser is any sort of social pariah by calling them abnormal. Abnormality would refer to anyone who I don’t know, or anyone who isn’t involved in my daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly life. Ranging from your grandmother’s granddaddy to…err… cross-dressers, I’d call both sets of people abnormal. And if you think I’m discriminating here… Go jump off a hay-stack!
Back to my discussion… As far as I know, only men who are sick in the mind with perversion or those who cross-dress (although they are sometimes motivated to cross-dress because of the former point) would choose to live the life of a female. We all know it’s hard. I mean, a lot of girls I know say that they’d prefer being a guy!
I’m not saying we don’t need women! Oh, curse my soul if I said that. Their presence isn’t taken for granted, I’ll have you know. All I’m saying is that it’s really complicated and it just doesn’t work for chaps like me.

I’ve rounded up some points as to why it’s better being a guy…

1. Guys don’t bitch. So that whole thing about who’s talking behind my back and pretending to be nice to me in front of my face doesn’t exist in our world. If one chap doesn’t like the other fellow, they either just stay away from each other or bring it to the surface by an exchange of fists or what’s commonly known as WWE.
2. Guys don’t deliver babies. Women and DHL are there for that. Yes, I know that the birth of a child is one of the most beautiful things one can witness but our species will never understand the pain a woman goes through. I’m talking as if I know. I don’t. I just can’t imagine it. Next point…
3. Most of us aren’t bothered about the impressions that ‘society’ (in the form of neighbours, friends, postmen, auto-drivers, random people at a restaurant…) forms of us. You don’t like my haircut? Too bad! I’m not going to run to the parlour to get it fixed.
4. Clothing is never such a problem. We don’t need over 2 hours to get ready for a function. Only models, wannabe models and a lot of Italians actually bother about wearing things that are actually in fashion a certain time of year. It doesn’t matter if pink is the new orange… Wear what you want, when you want. How bout that? But the best thing has to be the fact that guys don’t have to think twice before wearing a white T-shirt to a water park! Ha!
5. Guys don’t suffer from PMS [Prehistoric Monster Syndrome]. If you’re the victim of an attack, I suggest you watch the following video for PMS Survival Tips that could provide to be very useful one day.
6. People never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them. Unless the guy is Brad Pitt standing in front of a hormone-infested teenage girl.
7. We buy shoes that we feel comfortable in. Not shoes that give you a 3-12 inch height advantage. The shoes that we purchase end up cushioning our feet, or giving us springs at the bottom while cushioning our feet, or just keeping the smelly-sock problem away. The new shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle our feet! Oh… and one more point… Two or three pairs of shoes are enough. Colour-coding and matching and all isn’t an issue.
8. The same applies to wallets. One wallet only. It goes in your ass pocket. It doesn’t need to look pretty or have sequin work done on it by high-end designers. Wallets carry money and maybe some cards or love letters that were obtained in elementary school. No excess baggage I’d say.
9. Things on our face remain the same colour. Eyeliner, mascara, kaajal, eye-shadow, and you’ve successfully lost your eyeball in a sea of artificial dark-circles. Lip gloss, lip balm, lipstick… Oh, dear God! Take a ‘normal’ woman’s toiletry kit or bag or whatever and hit someone on the head with it and you could seriously cause some internal bleeding.
10. Growing a mustache is a freedom that we are given. Ha! Again!

These are just a few examples and we all know that there are MANY more to ramble about. So as you can all see… It’s quite easy living the average guy’s life. When compared to members of the other sex, our way just seems so right. So much simpler. So much happier. So much more fun. So damn sleepy right now.

… It’s 2:45 in the morning!

*Publish Post*