Afrosmith

Saturday, the 2nd of June saw crowds pouring in from all parts of India (and beyond) to watch the American ‘gods’ (it doesn’t take much over there) perform live at the majestically dusty Palace Grounds. I – not being such a fan of the band – managed to get free passes from a friend the day before the concert in what seemed more like just a last-minute attempt at watching the show for the heck of it.

Aerosmith was to try pulling off a ‘maiden’ over here.

Since I’m not an avid fan of the band, I didn’t go out of my way to learn or even listen to any of their songs before getting there. The ones that I knew were the ones that had been playing on the only English radio station we have in Bangalore…. So believe me when I say even that wasn’t intentional. But anyway, like always before any band, artist or Yanni came to India, every concert-goer would be in an elated spirit (I mean that in the most legitimate way ;) ) and would be completely excited to watch that particular band, artist or Yanni… Including me.
So at 5:30 when we arrived at Palace Grounds (the gates had just opened), every minute spent waiting for the arrival of other friends and certain elixirs that happen to elate spirits further, was a minute not well-spent. Impatience and the craving to be in the first few rows drove me and a friend to leave our pact and enter the swelling grounds.
There were a lot of women in there!

After finding other chaps inside, we assembled into a battering-ram formation and started our push towards the stage. With the horrendous shrieks of a few ladies complaining about us stepping on their feet, we managed to get relatively close to the ramp that projected from the stage like a single pseudopodium. o.O
The air was an eclectic mix of women’s perfume, sweat (from the men and women who forgot to wear perfume or deo), marijuana, and shouts and curses for the show to begin. The show wasn’t going to begin any time soon. As the sky darkened, a Rohit Barker made his way onto the stage announcing that Steven Tyler and his ageing band would be coming out soon, but we would be treated to an air-guitar competition first. Six gutsy individuals stood nervously on the stage that around 30000 people stared at. A screaming guitar solo kicked in and all of them (all coming from different parts of India) showed us their talent: playing arpeggios on nothing. Sure, they made fools out of themselves but the winning air-guitarist received a Fender autographed by Joe Perry. Who’s the fool now?

After a very long wait, Aerosmith decided to come out. Delays are a common thing when the band consists of 60 and 70 year olds. Their make-up, wearing of skin-tight leather pants, lip-inflating processes and oxygen supply takes time, you know!

They performed and they performed. I recognised around 4 songs through the concert. The others, I just pretended like I knew the lyrics. I could’ve won a lip-syncing contest right there, but of course, no one gave a shit what anyone around them was doing… except me. I got a little irritated when a group of around 8 engineers in their 40s started talking about capacitance and conductance and the various reasons as to why the lights hadn’t come on before the show started. Maybe because the show HADN’T STARTED?! Then during the concert, my back was the victim to many a wild girl’s headbang. They would apologise and I would say “It’s Okay” in the most charming Ameeth Thomas voice possible, but within 5 minutes, I’d get another head jack-hammered into my spine.

Afrosmith (I) really enjoyed the show to be honest. It was a really good performance… With Steven Tyler’s fake orgasms on stage and with Perry’s brilliant guitar work (oh, and that weird alien shit he was upto) and the two other band mates who weren’t as talented but yeah… oh, and the keyboardist who never got a single spotlight on himself… oh, and the brilliant lighting, which IMO was the best thing that night, it was a kick-ass concert.

Did I hear RHCP is coming here next?!