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Sunday, December 24, 2006

Teary Goodbyes and Other Tales of Sorrow

The final year of our schooling passed by faster than any other. It could have possibly been due to the fact that we only had 6 months of school and a whole lot of holidays in between but yeah... It was a sad departure.
Over the last two weeks, our class decided to celebrate each day with a different dress-code or a wacky theme in order to make it more memorable. Things like TieDay, ShareyourfoodwitheveryoneDay, MockValentinesDay and Twin Day just made the whole experience out of this world! Never have I seen such enthusiasm and unity within our class. Brilliant!
But on the last day of school, as it suddenly started hitting people that we would never sit in the same class again, a cloud of melancholy shadowed our joy. As tears began rolling down the cheeks of those who 10 minutes earlier were chasing others around, spraying them with fake-snow, I felt the pain that I hadn't really felt before: Separation. Though I've left schools more than three times in my continuing life, it has never felt like this. The friends that I had made over those 4 years of school had got so close to me that going our separate ways was heart-breaking. Literally.


But that's how life goes my dear readers...

Reviewing the last few weeks (or even months), I can tell you that my plans of going abroad for college were just a complete fantasy of mine. I've already started applying to several colleges in India and started getting ready for the various entrance exams that I'd have to write. Now tell me... is there any point of doing that AND writing the SAT and TOEFL and what not? It's time I made up my mind (and probably come back down to Earth) and realise that the best thing to do right now would be to stay in India and go to the US after my under-grad. To add to all this confusion, my dad heard me tell my brother that sitting and looking at colleges in the US was a complete waste of time. He's quite hurt and pissed off. But then again, the truth always hurts doesn't it?

What do you do when you have two really good friends who don't like each other? Who do you support when a fight breaks out? Who do you side with if one does something stupid?
These questions piss me off every time I think of them. It's what I got for not deciding to be a part of the 'Great Divide' as I like to think of it. It happened to our class a while ago. Where the people with one mind-set made a friend-circle and others with a different one made another one. Was it my fault that I chose not to split my feelings in half? Was it my fault that I didn't want to brand myself and shun away others who I cared for?
For anyone who's been in this situation, they'd know that this hurts like crazy. No one can really trust you. What if you spread information to people who weren't supposed to hear it? It's a risk no-one would want to take... And because of that, I'd always be left clueless. Because of that, I never know what people talk about me when I'm not there.
This sucks royally. And suppose the questions posed at the beginning of the paragraph were actually questions that I asked you... What would you say?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. It hurts like crazy. Your not alone George.